APPENDIX D

“JOHN CHINAMAN’S SOLILOQUY”

“A moon-eyed Celestial, with chopstick in hand, sat eating the rice of his dear native land; when ceasing at length his belly to fill, he commenced with himself on the Civil Rights Bill. ‘No more eatee lice, no more eatee rat; me Melican man and mustn’t do that. Me votee, me swear, and do what I will, for such is the law of the Civil Rights Bill. No more huntee hole nor hide like a micee, when tax man he come a hunting for licee [license]; for Melican Congress say John Chinaman is good as a nigger or any white man. Me likee be Judgee, me likee white wife; then Chinaman happee the rest of his life. Me wantee big office whenever me vote; me wantee plug hat and long Shanghai coat. John Chinaman Melican, say what they will for such is the law of the Civil Rights Bill.’ John twisted his pig-tail and looked at his clothes, wide opened his mouth and grew red at the nose. He felt contempt for the pick and the drill, since Congress had passed the Civil Rights Bill. But after reflection John broke out anew, as if he’d resolved what course to pursue. ‘Me no likee nigger, the Chinaman said; he no Melican man with his wooly black head. Me kick him, me lick him, me hit and me spankee, for John Chinaman is as good as a Yankee. Darkee no good, he smellum too strong; he no likee Chinaman; say tail is too long. Me no likee Irishman he fight um too much; me no likee Frenchman; me no likee Dutch. Me no likee any who don’t likee plan to give vote and oath to John Chinaman. Me likee Charles Sumner; me likee Thad. Stevens; for they are content to take Chinaman’s leavings. So now me a Melican, entitled to vote, wear a plug hat and a long Shanghai coat; pay em no licee, and do what I will, for such is the law of the Civil Rights Bill.’”

[San Francisco Daily Examiner, April 24, 1866, p. 2, col. 3.]