Test Center: We're with you from start to finish!You will be asked to write one essay on an assigned topic, and you will be allowed 75 minutes to complete your essay. The essay topic will be within the experience of every student, regardless of background or academic major; it will test how well you write rather than how much you know. The topic will call for an essay in which you try to convince the readers to accept a particular argument or point of view. You will be expected to assemble and organize examples, facts, and details to make your argument or point of view clear and convincing. You may draw upon personal experiences and observations to support your points. The following is a topic from a former test administration:
We sometimes say or think: "There needs to be a change." On the freeway, we think: There needs to be a change in the way people drive. There needs to be a change, we say, in attitudes about racial difference; in graduation or financial aid requirements; in eating habits. We think there needs to be a change in working conditions at our job; in how our condo is managed; in the way baseball players are traded; in the way children are taught to read; in the way certain books or movies are priced or marketed; and so forth.
Write an essay that shows how there needs to be a change in one particular thing. It need not be any of the examples given above. Explain as fully as possible why this change is needed. Support your idea with as many reasons, details, and examples as possible.
Your essay will be independently read by two faculty members trained in reliable essay scoring, and your total essay score will be sum of the two readers' scores. Your essay will be scored according to a carefully developed set of standards (see last page), and a total score of 7 out of a possible 12 is required to pass. Essays that receive high scores will exhibit the following characteristics:
An essay that fails to meet one or more of these standards will be scored lower. For example, if the writer treats the subject superficially or vaguely or includes serious errors in grammar and punctuation, his or her score will be lowered.
To do well on the essay, you should keep the following points in mind:
The following essay received a score of 8 (that is, a score of 4 from each reader):
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Many of us have already heard about President Clinton's scandalous affair with Monica Lewinsky through some form of medium. What started out as an inquiry to provide information to the public has turned out to be a huge media circus that seems to be more entertaining than informative. Unfortunately, Clinton is not the only person that has been "exploited" by the media; quite often, numerous people have been in the public's glare because our media have stepped over their boundries. Tapping into our sensitivity and curiosity, the media have become more incredulous and entertaining than informative. Their methods of getting a story have become quite barbaric and unethical during the past years. It is the intrusion into personal lives that I feel the media need to change. Since the inception of television, we as a society have relied on the media to inform us on the state of our nation and of global situations. While many broadcasting networks still adhere to the primary purpose of providing information, there are many who deviate from that purpose. Today, with all the competitions out there, many networks, in an effort to win viewers, are sensationalizing stories and exploiting people. With the case of President Clinton, the media have, in some way, violated his rights by invading his private life. I feel they have done their purpose in providing the American public with news of his misconduct; but, I think it is wrong of them to go beyond that. We all value our personal lives, and I don't think the media should pry into people's lives in an effort to increase ratings, if not profit. It's quite interesting to note that the media are in some ways like the inquisition. They have "condemned" people by parading their lives before the public. Take, for example, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, and of course, Clinton. All these people were hounded by television crews, which basically disrupted their daily lives. As we progress into a society where information will be perpetually relayed back and forth, the media will always provide us with a mode of receiving them. Because we depend on them so much, it seems they control what we hear and see. But that of course is not true. In actuality, it is we who control the media by expressing to them what we want to hear and watch. Given that, we must put an end to irrelevant stories and invasion of privacy by the media. |
Comment: This essay meets the criteria for a passing score. It adheres to the assigned topic and develops the topic with adequate specificity and thoroughness. The paper exhibits some errors: incredible should replace incredulous in the first paragraph, boundaries is misspelled in the same paragraph, and the last sentence in paragraph two needs to be punctuated thus: I feel they have done their purpose in providing the American public with news of his misconduct, but I think it is wrong of them to go beyond that. However, the essay is competently written.
The following essay also received a score of 8:
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The one particular thing that needs a change that came to my mind is societies perception of Sororities and Fraternities. The big problem is that the media portrays this image that is maybe ten percent true. The news media and movies seem to set this negitive stereotype that stays in everyones mind. There may only be a small percent of Greeks that add to the negitive stereo-type, and they are the ones that do the binge drinking, haze, and get bad grades. Since I am on the inside and I once believed the medias portrayal, I can now tell you what kind of wonderful things we do. Every quarter we participate in many philanthropic events; we have an annual event that raises money for a boys and girls home for abused children in Chino and also Childrens Hospital of Richmond Virginia. It is a heart warming experience when we go and visit these children and decorate their Christmas tree, or color Easter eggs with them, it is a nice feeling to know that the little things you can do go a far way. Another positive aspect of being in a sorority or Fraternity is the academic assistance that you receive. We have a study buddy program, scholarships, honor societies and award ceremonies, these all recognise your achievement and support your reasons for being in college. The third incentive is the endless amount of leadership roles. You can hold a position within your own organization or there is Greek Council, Panhellenic Council, G.A.M.M.A. (Greek Advocating Mature Management of Alcohol), and Interfraternal Council. Many Greeks feel the need to take it one step further and run for a Student Body position. Currently, the President and Vice President of ASI are both in a sorority and in a fraternity. What you put into it is what you are going to get out of it, I have learned a lot about myself and my time. Time management is a key part in a college students career and it is a tool that you will use the rest of your life. You also build long lasting friendships that can benefit you the rest of your life. You can use your sisters and brothers for networking purposes to obtain employment. This summer I needed to move closer to campus and I needed to find some roomates and now I live with two other sisters. I cannot fully begin to explain the benefits of Greek life; it's just a college thing you must do. Before I came here to take this test I took one of my sisters to run her errands because her car was not working. Then we came to the library to work on a research paper for a class that we are taking together; this is another example of what sisterhood is all about. In closing, I hope that this essay has at least changed one more persons perception of Greeks on campus. I hope to gain respect for being in a sorority and that others realize what it takes. As long as movies stop filming about that one dumb girl that got too drunk at the park and was taken advantage of; Greeks may have a chance to change the stereo-type. My question to the dumb girl is, where were her sisters and why weren't they taking care and watch over her? |
Comment: This essay also meets the criteria for a passing score. Although some of the paragraphs could be supported more fully, it is developed with adequate details and illustrations. The paper contains a number of problems: the confusion of the possessive and plural forms (it should be society's rather than societies in the first sentence), the failure to use an apostrophe to mark the possessive (it should be everyone's in the first paragraph), misspellings (the correct spelling is negative, for example), and punctuation errors (a semicolon or period should replace the comma following ceremonies in the following sentence: We have a study buddy program, scholarships, honor societies and award ceremonies, these all recognise your achievement and support your reasons for being in college). In general, however, the essay is competently written.
Unlike the two essays above, the following essay received a score of 6 (that is, a score of 3 from each reader), a failing score:
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The movie making industry has influenced its viewers in a profound way. The movies that movie industries made are very uneducational for the children. The films included many explosive scenes, which were harmful to the atmosphere. Finally, the high production cost of movie making has put many movie makers in to a high risk. These are the reasons that there needs to be a change in movie programs. First of all, some movies are very uneducational. Some are even harmful to children. For example, action movies included many violent scenes. The hero fired a shot into the bad guy's head or stabbed another bad person in the back. These scenes may send the wrong messages to children. They might encourage children to do similar actions in real life. Moreover, gruesome movies can leave deep impressions in the mind of small children. The children would not be able to go to sleep in the night. Secondly, more and more movies are using explosive devices for their scenes. The explosions created by these devices caused air pollution. Moreover, these explosions can cause damages to ozone layer. Also, ozone layer shields earth from sun's ultraviolet light, living tissues can be harmed without the ozone layer. Finally, the high production cost of movie making has put many movie makers in a business of high risk. The production cost of movies has gone up more and more recently. In order to attract more viewers, the movies include expensive houses, cars, and famous stars. When the movie did not go as well as expected, movie makers lost millions. Employees in the movie making industries can become unemployed. This is why producers should make changes in movie programs. |
Comment: This essay does not meet the criteria for a passing score. Although the essay is basically clear and organized, it is not adequately developed. Convincing illustrations and details are missing. In the third paragraph, for example, the writer asserts that movie special effects are damaging the ozone layer but provides no facts or details to support that assertion. Moreover, there are a number of errors here, a major one being tense inconsistency. Note the switch from the present progressive to past tense in the first two sentences of the third paragraph: Secondly, more and more movies are using explosive devices for their scenes. The explosions created by these devices caused air pollution. Such inconsistency weakens the coherence of the essay.
| 6 | A superior response will address itself to all aspects of the question. Though it may have occasional faults, it will be well organized, detailed, and generally well written. |
| 5-4 | These scores will be useful for a well-handled paper that is weak in some aspects of the superior response; for example, it may slight one of the parts of the question; it may not be as clearly organized as the superior response; it may have some minor grammatical inconsistencies. Otherwise, the paper should be competently written. |
| 3 | This score will be useful for the following kinds of paper: This score will also be useful for papers that are developed with some specificity and detail but are marred by more than a few minor grammatical inconsistencies. |
| 2 | This score is to be used for papers that exhibit serious weaknesses in structure, syntax, diction, and/or development. |
| 1 | This score is to be used for papers that show very little understanding of the question or suggest incompetence in structure, syntax, and diction. |
Cal Poly Pomona reserves the right to cancel any test score if the test taker engages in misconduct or if there is a testing irregularity. The test administrator is encouraged to report each instance of academic dishonesty to the Director of Judical Affairs and appropriate action will be taken. For additional information, click the Judicial Affairs website link www.dsa.csupomona.edu/judicialaffairs/.
Article 1.1, Title 5, California Code of Regulations, states that students may be expelled, suspended, placed on probation or given a lesser sanction for one or more of the following campus-related causes:
| a. | Cheating or plagiarism. |
| Exam cheating includes unauthorized "crib sheets," using any prohibited material, copying from another, looking at another student's exam, opening books when not authorized, and obtaining advance copies of exams. | |
| Plagiarism is intentionally or knowingly presenting words, ideas or work of others as one's own work. Computer-assisted plagiarism is still plagiarism. | |
| b. | Forgery, alteration or misuse of campus documents, records, or identification or knowingly furnishing false information to a campus. |
| This includes falsifying signatures and forging another student's signature. |
